Green Squadron

Short for “Peepants McBoogerballz”. Awarded as a punishment by Chief of Staff Jebediah for being a dick.

Seems  to be some confusion amongst us editors here….

This used to read : “Jeb is power mad and will abuse his authority if and when advantageous” as written by an unknown contributor….

Cmdr PhilTheViking’s story is one we all know all too well….

His wing mates noticed he had a nasty habit of falling asleep at the helm and winding up thousands of light years from where he was.

“Sandman” just kind of felt appropriate.

J1337no has an uncanny ability to always find himself in the way at crucial times when winging up with fellow squadron members.

OK, had to edit this one after getting the lowdown from the man himself. Wanna hear it? Hear it go:

Well it’s actually 2 fold.

1. I have a very aggressive combat style. All my weapons are gimballed and I fly a Vette with all multicannons engineered for maxium dps. I also use my shielding as a weapon and tend to ram a lot. This is has caused me to run into wingmates more often than not because I either can’t see them or they happen to be turning to face the same target and I don’t notice it. I bump them fairly often.

2. Our deputy commander on Xbox had decided to go out mining. He had experienced the bump several times already. I also love to troll the guy so I flew out in my Vette to provide pirate protection. I decided that mining was dangerous and I didn’t want his ship being hit by rock fragments so I positioned myself between him and whatever rock he was trying to mine…purely for safety you understand.

Well, after doing this for about an hour he gave the me callsign.”

…..Safety First, my friend, Safety First…….

This one harking to that most classic of failures, right up there with the bellyflop, the faceplant….

Seems Cmdr Razorsmile has been known to boost his ass straight into planets, asteroids, and anything else unlucky enough to find itself in his path “by mistake”…..

Two words my friend:  Reset. Keybindings.

A little back story: I was originally given the call sign Pibber, just to help differentiate me from another green squad member. Nothing special.

Anyways, I was running passengers out of Hauser’s Reach in Robigo for roughly $20 mil/run in my brand new Beluga, the TFS Discordia. I was nearing the end of a run with full cabins and a full bladder. So because I’m an uncivilized savage, when I dropped back into Hauser’s I set the ship to auto dock and ran to the bathroom to empty my bladder. What I failed to acknowledge was the fact that I had multiple wanted passengers onboard. I returned from doing my business and was greeted by the rebuy screen. My assumption is that I was scanned by some over zealous security officer and was blown to bits while my Beluga mindlessly attempted auto dock. That was a $20 mil (not including rebuy) pee break. I’ve been “Pee-Ber” ever since.